Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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