I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
