Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
3 2 1 whiskey
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
