Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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