Fine. I'll sleep in my office
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
