does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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