roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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