Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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