i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
