How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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