Fuck appropriateness.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
