I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
