Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
