so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
