we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
