Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
