He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
