the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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