I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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