plz talk dirty to me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize