he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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