I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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