Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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