Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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