But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
