I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just pee around me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
