That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
