So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You were trust falling into bushes
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
