I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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