I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize