Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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