dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I am available for nakedness
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
