Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
