chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
