btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
