i jhust puked up my retainher.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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