I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
