Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
