I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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