you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
