brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
