Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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