playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
