so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Randomize
