you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
