I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
