The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
