I showed him my bush... on skype.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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