ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
