it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
