i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i drank out of a bidet.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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