We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
do nipples grow back?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
