You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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