just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
