I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
