i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
