And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
