things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
