Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My ATM looks so different sober.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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