It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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