Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
