either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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