whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How naked do you want me to be?
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