i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Randomize
